Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Holy Moley, Batman!

Sorry, dear readers. I can't help myself. I have to pick this so-called novel apart. Did no one edit Devin Grayson's Inheritance? Did no one edit it who had at least a high school education?

Cases in point:
  • p.94. Except for a heavy exhale that escaped from his nose... (Uh, Devin, hon, exhale -- and inhale, which you've also misued -- is an f'in verb. Learn it. Use it. Embrace its power. People exhale breaths, air, whatever. The actual breaths are exhalations. Got it? Good.)
  • p 108. ...perhaps the medical infirmary. (Um, Dev, sweetie, according to the dictionary, an infirmary is a place where the sick, or infirm, get treatment. If that's not medical, I don't know what is. What else could an infirmary be used for? This is not the only redundancy I've found. You must learn how to kill your darlings. Trust me. You'll be a better writer for it.)
  • p. 109. ...he was immediately forced to go flat on his stomach, facedown as he clung to the roof of the speeding vehicle. (Great Googly Moogly, Devin, how else would you go flat on your stomach? Face up? Sheesh. I think we can figure that one out without the explanation. Truly. Trust your readers. They really are smarter than bricks. I know it might not seem like it, but you only demean your writing by explaining every little thing. This is almost to the level of mentioning a cat, then explaining it to be a fuzzy animal that licks itself and purrs.)
That's enough nitpicking for one night. They are rather large for nits.

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